my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We left the knife in your bed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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