i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
