Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
