"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
