her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
