all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
