is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
