If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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