it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
