...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
