We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
