he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need a beard to bite.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
