You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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