i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
