No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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