I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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