So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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