Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So vagazzling was a success
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
