Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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