I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
