Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
