yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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