But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
