They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I need moral support for this bender
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
