It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
