Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
