You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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