I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
