I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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