I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
