Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
