Its about making memories worth repressing
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
