question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
