The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
