she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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