dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
