Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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