why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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