We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
