1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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