He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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