very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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