Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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