If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
