marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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