They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
