I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
