Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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