I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I will die if light touches me.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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