Plan B is the new Plan A
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize