...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
