Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Boobs speak an international language.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
