hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
