god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
