so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
