Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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