so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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