im drinking this country out of the recession.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he thought i was a dude.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
