Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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