I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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