My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
