I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
