Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
