My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize