You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I need help removing her.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
bring money and cleavage
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
