that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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